You want my hands to go where?

I've likely mentioned this before, but I am shocked at the lack of flexibility in most of the kids I work with.  The kids that take gymnastics or hip hop seem to be somewhat more flexible, but the bulk of these kids can't touch their toes!

I was a chubby kid.  I wasn't really active (I'd much rather spend my afternoon with a book or a drawing pad than playing a sport or something like that).  I wanted to do gymnastics, I remember being really discouraged when the instructor told me I was too tall.  My mom tried to force me into softball in junior high. That didn't last long (I think I made it through 2 or 3 practices). I wanted to take ballet, but we didn't have the money.

But even with all of those things going against my athletic prowess, I was flexible.

I don't remember ever having a time I couldn't touch my toes. I don't ever remember saying it hurt trying to reach those toes.

I sure as heck never said "I think I threw my back out".

Starting back at spring break, I've been trying to do yoga with the kids at least a couple of times a week.  When we were doing it regularly (2-3 times a week), I saw a marked difference in their ability to practice.  Not necessarily the physical side of it (still not a lot of toe touching going on), but in the mental side of things.

The first few sessions were disasters; everyone touching each other, rolling around on the floor, interrupting me, laughing at the poses.

After the first week, the kids started settling into the routine. They even started asking for yoga.  I'm not doing anything wild and crazy with them. Just some simple sun salutations and breathing (they love dragon breath and trying to do ujjayi breathing).

Trying to get this practice in with the kids is two fold for me.

First, it is a great opportunity to teach the kids to be present and mindful.

Secondly, it is allowing me to ease back into a practice. I had to give up yoga in 2010 when my shoulder problems became so bad it hurt to move my arm. I have been told I will never be able to do yoga again.

In the before time, my plan was to be a yoga instructor and freelance artist/designer with a small organic farm.

There was a time this was NOT a problem for me.

It's been 3 years. I'm managing my inflammation issues through diet, orthopaedic massage and acupuncture.  I am now able to complete several sun salutations. I take it slow and easy. I know I have to respect the limits of my shoulder.

Even 3 years out of practice though, I can still touch my toes. And the kids seemed shocked to see that. There was a lot of "look! she's touching the floor!"

Hopefully I can help the kids reach the floor. And beyond.

Yoga has been such a vital part of my life after stumbling upon a class at my gym when I was 20. It crushed me to give it up, but even that was a teaching tool. I learned about being gentle with my self. I learned to respect my body and what it is saying. Between taking time out of my life to care for my brother (the best choice I could have made - also in 2010) and my injury, I learned to slow down. Other than a paycheck, there is no reward for endless hours at work being miserable. Were it not for my injury, I don't think I would have reached that place. I would likely still be working (out) like a mad woman and pushing my self to go, go, go.

As counter-intuitive as it seems, try slowing down. Skip your P90X or Insanity for a while. Go for a long walk. Connect with nature and your self.  Take a break from the punishment of chronic cardio.  And listen to what your body is telling you.

Waging a war.......... on YOU

I've been really terrible at updating the blog lately.

I've been busy with work, school, wedding prep and projects.

We finally got the invitations done and mailed out.  It was the perfect excuse for me to buy a craft cutter and now I just need to find enough time to work on .svg files for paper crafting as well as creating jewelry designs and finishing out the semester :)

I've noticed that weight loss/health has taken sort of an angry path these days.  Everyone is intent on getting ripped, demolishing fat, getting their asses kicked, etc. I'm not sure why every woman thinks they need to get below 20% body fat and needs six pack abs. I really don't want to "kill it", whatever "it" may be. I'm sick of the screaming commercials for some new ass kicking workout.

Does it really have to be that way?

Don't get me wrong. I don't think there is anything wrong with being strong.  I don't think there's anything wrong with being muscular. I've worked plenty of jobs in my life that required me to be strong.  But really, do we need to look like body builders (I've always been rather grossed out by them personally).

Is this necessary? Or attractive?

I'm not sure what people are into killing, but if killing it equals the above, I'll let it live.

I have to say if I've learned anything in the last 3 years its to be gentle with myself.  I didn't get that principle in all the years I did yoga. I pushed myself to be the most flexible in a class. I pushed myself as hard as I could. Which is totally NOT what yoga is about. I pushed my body by working out 3 hours a day, 7 days a week.

My shoulder injury has taught me to be gentle with myself. I have learned my limits. I may not like my limits all of the time, but I accept them.

I don't need to destroy fat. I don't need to punish myself for my food choices by spending an extra hour at the gym if I eat something "bad". Hell, my entire diet is "bad" by the standards of most of the diet industry. I eat fat. Lots of fat.  I eat protein, a pretty good amount of protein. I eat veggies, probably more than I ever did as a vegetarian in my youth.

As much as it pained me, I threw out everything I thought I new about health and fitness and I've changed my life for the better. Without supplements. Without shakes. Without punishing my body. Without punishing my spirit.

Take a second to think about it before you wage another war with yourself.  Take a second to think about being gentle and kind to yourself.  It might make all the difference in your life and in the world. Our lives are full of enough crap - everyone's a warrior, everything needs to be destroyed, killed, ripped, etc.

Think about the impact those words have. Affect a positive change in your mind and you will see positive changes in your body.

Eat FAT?

I wanted to write about a realization I had the other day that was pretty awesome.

I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember.  I've tried every diet on the planet (low fat, low calorie, vegetarian, high fiber, Weight Watchers, etc).  I spent most of my life being stressed out about what I ate, when I ate it, if I was working out enough, counting this and counting that.  Let's just say that wasn't the most wonderful way to live.  Freaking out about food and whether or not I was spending enough time at the gym is surprisingly stressful.

I've made a lot of changes to my diet in the last couple of years and I realized the other day that I am not constantly thinking about food or beating myself up about not going to the gym or working out any more.

I went on my first diet when I was 11 years old.  I remember eating nothing more than lettuce and yogurt for months on end.  I also started exercising obsessively around then as well (at least 2 hours a day).  I lost a bunch of weight, but ended up getting seriously sick with pneumonia and gaining it all back.

When I was 16, I lost about 40 pounds, but was spending 2 or more hours a day exercising and became a vegetarian around that time.  I never felt awesome, but I thought I looked great.

I became a firefighter when I was 18, which only fueled my gym addiction.  In addition to the grueling work of fighting fires, I was working out at least 2 hours a day during season and spending 3 or more hours a day at the gym during off season.  I was also eating the brilliant diet of Diet Pepsi and some sort of carb-y goodness (a sugar cookie or bagel) and drinking copious amounts of coffee to kill my appetite.

I was thin, but didn't seem to be very toned.

The years progressed and my diet changed (I brought back limited amounts of animal protein to my diet but was still strictly eating low fat and high fiber/grains), but my body never really changed.  Even at my thinnest, I still looked soft.  I made an attempt at a low carb diet once under the advice of a personal trainer.  I have to say about 6 hours into it, I wanted to kill someone for a muffin.  I stuck with it for a few months (but it was still low fat) and was able to get pretty toned even on only an hour a day at the gym.

About a year after that, I got into a car accident that curbed my gym habit hard!  After finally getting things back in order from that, I started to have debilitating pain that prevented me even at times from walking.  Needless to say, I started gaining weight (even while on Weight Watchers during this time) and I swear doing Weight Watchers made me feel even more hungry!  All I could do was think about food.  Plan out my meals. Allocate my points. Calculate how much of ANY activity I could do to earn more points.... It was terrible!

In 2010, I stumbled upon

ant it changed my relationship with food forever.  I had been reading about coconut oil and all the wonderful things it can do for you, including boost your metabolism.  I have to say that changing to a high fat, moderate protein and lower carb diet was quite a transition for me.  The idea of actively seeking out fat and ADDING it to my diet had me nervous.  I was worried I was going to blow up even more than I already had.

I bought my first jar of coconut oil and forced myself to start eating it (even though it went against everything I thought was the right way to eat).  Well, it's been 2 years and I haven't gained any weight from adding fat and in fact, my weight is down.  It's not a rapid weight loss miracle, but slowly and steadily, I was keeping weight off, not losing and gaining repeatedly.

I've got more to share about this subject, but I had a moment of extreme gratitude when I realized that I haven't told myself "you better go hit the treadmill" or "you need to exercise for x amount of time" to make up for some item that I have just consumed.  In fact, it was awesome to realize that I allow myself to have dessert now without worrying about how much weight I'm going to gain.  In fact, I can't remember the last time I tried to mentally calculate the calories or fat grams I'm eating.  I'm looking and feeling better than I have in a LONG time. And I think for the first time ever, I can really say I'm comfortable being me.

Adventures in Allergy Treatments - Day 12

NASAL ALLERGIES

Okay, today has been the worst day since before I started the treatments.  I have been sneezing on and off and had to blow my nose quite a few times today.  I am not alternating between running like a faucet and being so congested I can't breathe though.  Also, no sinus pressure and no sinus pain even though I've been sneezing and my nose has been running.

I have another treatment scheduled for Monday, so hopefully I get back on track. I still maintain that even with the sneezing and nose running today, my symptoms are entirely better than they were. I swore I was allergic to myself because it didn't matter where I was or what I was doing, I had extreme allergy symptoms. I thought when I went to North Carolina last year, that I would get away from whatever I was allergic to.  Not so much, which lead me to think I was allergic to my self.

GLUTEN SENSITIVITY

As far as the whole bee thing goes, I think part of the issue with my arm is hypersensitivity to inflammation.  After getting stung by that darn bee yesterday, my entire arm hurts and I've had some of the burning and tingling in my pinky and up the back side of my arm to my scapula.

While I've been tested for Celiac before and the test was negative, it seems as though I have a sensitivity issue more than an actual allergy.  I have had joint pain as long as I could remember, been lethargic, always cold and had some intense digestive issues over the years.

The pain in my left arm had been so intense that I could not use my arm.  Multiple specialists couldn't figure out anything that could have been wrong, and I had tried so many homeopathic remedies it was ridiculous.  I had even tried cobra venom. COBRA VENOM!!!!!!!!

After being told "just don't use it" about by arm (not that easy when you are a lefty, but I did it. I managed 3 semesters of art school teaching myself to be right handed), I didn't really know what else to try and had resigned myself to becoming a righty and learning to do everything over again.  Until a friend told me how awesome she felt after going gluten free.

I figured it wouldn't hurt to try.  I don't think there is really any one "right" way to live, you have to listen to your body to find the right balance for you.  I had maintained a low fat, high fiber diet for most of my life.  I added fat back into my diet in September 2010 after reading "Eat Fat, Lose Fat" by Mary Enig and Sally Fallon. Just that addition made a world of difference in how I felt.  But I was still eating a lot of grain based foods (though I was at least eating my grains properly soaked/sprouted/fermented).

In January 2012, I made the leap to gluten free.  For a bread addict like myself, it was not super easy, but it was easier this time around than the time I had a trainer put me on a low carb diet (I thought I was going to kill someone for a muffin) because I was also eating low fat as well as low carb.

I can say that after 6 months of gluten free, I have become really good at listening to my body.  I usually tell within 3 hours if something has gluten in it or has been cross contaminated.  I also kept a pretty boring diet for the first few months so I was really able to pinpoint any issues.  For the most part, I'm eating a modified paleo diet (I like my raw dairy) because there aren't a ton of really good gluten free alternatives to bread and baked goods.

Again, I don't think there is any one right way to live, but if what you are doing obviously isn't working (you shouldn't feel like crap all the time - that is NOT normal), it may benefit you to try an alternative to what you are doing.